The Nectar Card Prank

I got bored a few nights ago. Very bored.
I was staring at my wallet, and looking at my Nectar card. (For those not reading this from the UK, a Nectar card is a loyalty card you can use at multiple shops to get points to buy rewards with).
I wondered… what about all the people in the world with silly names?
So I decided to see what would happen if, well, you can guess.
First of all, I needed a spokesperson, so to speak. I wasn’t going to do this on my own Nectar card incase it all got nasty. I knew the perfect man. George Adgdgdwngo.
Who?
Well, you might recognise him as this guy:

 

Know him now? Good. He’s the master of scamming, so he’s the natural man for the project.
I thought I’d start tame, and order a card for George. It never turned up. However, there’s an option on nectar.com to order additional cards for friends and family. Now, George has a lot of friends – so he’ll need a lot of cards.
I decided to go for one to start with that wasn’t obviously stupid unless you read it twice, just incase there was a human at the other end, checking the names manually.

A few days later, an envelope turned up:

Could it be that George’s card had finally turned up, and the post was just running late?
Alas not. Instead, this was inside:

Hurrah! Miss Sek C Bodey can now show off her, ahem, Sexy Body (get it?) with her new Nectar card.
The game was set. Time to order some more cards.
One of Nectar’s partner companies is Debenhams – one of the biggest department stores in the country. One of their rivals is called House Of Fraser. So…

Again, made and delivered with no problem. It was obvious at this point that nobody is checking the cards at the other end. Maybe there’s some “banned word” list that automatically filters out naughty words. Time to test that.
Nectar is part-owned by Sainsbury’s, who are second to Tesco in size. Tesco has their own loyalty card, called Clubcard. Surely, if theres a “banned word” list, then “Clubcard” would be on it, right?

Doesn’t look like it!
Finally, it’s time for some plain rudeness. Let’s see if the unfortunately named Mr R Skisser can have a card.

What a surprise. Yes he can.
What else can I say? Nectar card – FAIL.

The Colonel's Secret Recipe Is Out!

SoWell, who’da thought it – but finally it would appear the KFC “secret blend of 11 herbs and spices” isn’t so secret anymore.

It goes like this:

— 1 teaspoon ground oregano
— 1 teaspoon chili powder
— 1 teaspoon ground sage
— 1 teaspoon dried basil
— 1 teaspoon dried marjoram
— 1 teaspoon pepper
— 2 teaspoons salt
— 2 tablespoons paprika
— 1 teaspoon onion salt
— 1 teaspoon garlic powder
— 2 tablespoons Accent

So, ladies and gentlemen… fire up those fryers!

iAm Getting iFrustrated

Right. As you may or may not know, I have an iPhone.

When I bought it in February (and up to about a month ago), it was nice and fast. Everything was slick, and just worked.

Then, Apple released OS 3.0 – the new software for the iPhone that promised so very much. I updated the software through iTunes like a shot. Along came new features, like A2DP (Stereo Bluetooth audio streaming to my car stereo), and landscape keyboards for texting. Marvellous.

However, now the phone is painfully slow. So badly slow that it’s almost unusable.

If I’m doing something – anything – on the phone, and someone calls me, the phone will hang on the “Answer or Reject call” screen. I can’t even answer the call, and have to call the person back.

Texting? It’ll hang halfway through a word, and come up with some stupid suggestion for a word, meaning i have to go back and retype half the message.

It’s becoming well documented online (see here, here, here and here). Maybe Apple will bring out a(nother) software update to fix this. If they don’t, bye bye Apple. It’ll be Android for me.

Sales Legends 2009 Photos

Photos are now online from the 2009 Orange Sales Legends event in London lastnight, check out http://picasaweb.google.com/BillGBennettUK/2009Jul17OrangeSalesLegendsEvent to take a look.

Rant Of The Day: Commuters

I hate commuters. Not all, but just the inconsiderate ones.

I’m on a train to London, and while sitting in my seat, at least three people have got on the train at one end, walked WITH THEIR BIG LUGGAGE through to the other end, bashing it into everyones legs in the process.

While I’d like to go find one of them and kick them, I can’t be bothered. It’s punishment enough for them that they have to wear suits that make them look like douchebags.

The universe has equalled out the karma once again. All is well.

Devon Photos Now Online

All the photos from when Nadine and I went to Devon a couple of weeks ago are now online.

A Regret

Righty then… it’s unfortunate but I’ve been neglecting the site recently – so it’s back.

The photo galleries, the blog, it’s all here, along with videos and a few other fun things too.

Hopefully it’ll last a long time :-)